Everything in this piece, in its own unique way, represents a piece of my asexual experience. While some may see loneliness and isolation, I see solace. 

● Color inspiration: asexual flag. Ironically, I viscerally dislike the color purple.

● Center undressed woman. When I look at her I see body confidence and sexuality. The latter of the two is part of a misconception that says asexual people lack. Putting her on here was in defiance of that. It was me saying “Ace people DO have sexuality. We CAN BE sensual and sexual without having or wanting sex.” For me, anyway. It’s an empowering thing to remember, that. 

● Bottom right line drawing from the Dutch film Jongens (Boys). While I’ve never actually ever seen an asexual romance onscreen, I can at least pretend, so long as certain lines are not crossed. Because for me, that is the closest I’ll ever get to seeing my kind of love represented (for now). This sweet, sweet movie has stuck with me since I first saw it at fifteen. All about two teens discovering their feelings for one another, it is so light and innocent, a word I don’t like to use in the context of asexuality, that it resonated wholly. 

● Bottom center quote from Sex Education. Any ace person ever knows exactly what I’m talking about. *Pauses Netflix, puts hand to heart, sobs* Accurate representation matters! 

● Bottom right girl in blanket. As it relates to this little crying burrito, she is me in my memory of me sobbing my heart out to a friend about struggling with my ace identity. I started reeling about what I assumed was my fate (that I’ll never find love) and she wrapped me up in her comforter, pulled me into her arms, and without me ever having said the word myself, said, “You are not broken.” It shook me to my core how she saw me so completely. 

● Middle right quote from Chasers of the Light: Poems from The Typewriter Series by Tyler Knott Gregson. This admittedly sad utterance felt like the perfect encapsulation of my outlook on relationships. I think of this question as the most intimate admittance a person could ask, speaking with immense vulnerability, courage, plenty of shame, yet a tinge of hope. A reflection of the ace ponderings. 

● Top right quote from the miniseries Modern Love. The way Anne Hathaway crumbled was like seeing myself and the broken feeling I used to, and sometimes still do, feel about being ace. It’s gripping. Gut-wrenching. Isolating. Heart-shattering. As ace people, especially in the early stages of realization and identity, we assume that we are forever the odd one out. That the idea of us finding someone who will accept us is unimaginable. There is such a profound sense of shame and brokenness but this quote speaks to the fact that self-acceptance is key before believing that there are good people out there - which there are. 

Art Instagram: @love.from.koko