Sestina for the Google Searches I’ve Done to Discover Myself

Fifteen years old and I’m young
but not too young to know I should love.
Cinderellas always found Charmings, so surely,
my option for happiness is an ending that’s romantic.
I really should accept it. But maybe I’ll ask the internet:
>how do i know if i’m having a crush?

>shouldn’t i be having crushes?
My friends felt it since we were youth.
Slumber party nights spent exploring the internet
as they giggled over boyband heartthrobs they loved,
puppy love, but still, all of it romantic.
>how do i even know what love is for sure?

Some questions even Google can’t answer, fine. Sure.
So “aromantic” excuses away my lack of crushes
for now, but >will i grow out of being aromantic?
>can i know i’m aromantic this young?
all I know is I’ve never known love
like in fanfiction on the internet,

but my best love is platonic. Someone on the internet
must be able to explain it, surely.
If romance was in the cards, love
would be inescapable by now, crushes
would be abound, but now I know; I’m still young,
but not too young to know I’m aromantic.

Aromantic like a platonic romantic
for the saints on the internet
who answered every prayer from my youth,
their love alleviating doubts with reassurance.
Aromantic like aromatic, rose petals crushed,
burned in a candle. Take that, flower of love.

Aromantic like aro, arrow of Cupid’s love.
Shoot your shot, but armor and aromantic
share letters for a reason, it will be crushed
under indifference built by aros on the internet
who guided me, taught me I could be sure.
>why was i scared of this when i was young?

>why was i unsure? The >community on internet
is not so young. >life without romantic love 
>life without crushes Result: fulfilled, aromantic.