MY ANACONDA DON’T
I don't know why I agreed to this. Skinny dipping at night. Jumping into a body of water naked at night. Who do I think I am? Some white girl in a coming-of-age film?
Maureen is already pulling her shirt and shorts off, and Marcy is doing the same. I stare down at my t-shirt, cargo shorts and sneakers. I never understood how the other girls felt so comfortable changing during PE. I'd always try to do it as quickly as possible, avoiding eye contact with anyone. But Maureen and Marcy would just stand there sometimes, in the matching pink thongs they bought at Victoria's Secret, chatting about anything and everything.
I begin pushing my sneakers off and then pulling my t-shirt off. I gently set them on what seemed like a log. I still have my sports bra on and am not sure the best order of operations. I don't want to stand on the forest floor barefoot and then have to take off my underwear and bra, but the only thing I feel comfortable taking off right now is my socks.
“Lizzy! Hurry up! We're going in!”
I keep my eyes down, but then there is a splash, and I hear laughter and giggles.
Oh, fuck it.
Socks, shorts, underwear, and bra come off in a blur, and I am running towards the lake and jumping in after them.
“THAT'S OUR GIRL!” Maureen screams and begins splashing water at me. Marcy is yelling Marco, and Maureen becomes nothing more than a blur of water only illuminated by moonlight.
I begin to ease into the water, treading to avoid its muddy bottom. Unlike the hot and humid air, it feels smooth and slightly cool against my skin. The water and darkness envelop me, and I can almost imagine my body doesn't exist. No boobs I have to contain with a tight bra that never makes them flat enough. No legs my mom taught me to always shave. No stomach that rounds out like I'm pregnant after I've eaten too much.
Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea.
I begin floating, and stare up at the moon and stars until I can make out the belt on Orion. Maureen and Marcy's laughter blend in with the crickets, cicadas, and frog croaks, creating a night time symphony that almost makes me want to fall asleep. When Marcy and Maureen started secretly dating, they promised me nothing would change in our friendship and that they would still include me. At first, nothing seemed different. I had always existed a bit more on the periphery of their colorful loudness, but then, they started having these inside jokes and giggles and moments where I'm not even sure if they remembered I existed. It was as if they had their own secret language that I would never understand. I started wondering if they only invited me to things so that their parents wouldn't get suspicious. If I was just their excuse to say, “See, we're just a couple of girl friends! Nothing gay to see here!”
Suddenly my ankle is grabbed by a slimy entity, and I am fully submerged under water. Is this how I die? I'm only 16. Please, God, I know I haven't been to church recently, but–
Then, I'm being pulled back up, and Maureen and Marcy are grinning at me, the shit-eaters that they are.
“YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?” I shout at them and swim further away, but I can't help begin laughing as I notice how ridiculous this is. The three of us naked in a lake at 10:17PM on a school night. And I thought the loch ness monster was trying to murder me.
“You just looked so peaceful,” Marcy whines.
“We didn't want you to feel alone,” Maureen adds. Their sentences run into one another.
Even though it's too dark to really see each other's faces, I can tell they're looking me. And I remember when we all met on the swim team in middle school, how it felt like we were an unstoppable pack of three. Always competing to see who could get the fastest times but then sharing oranges and Capri suns and Oreos in the long car rides home after races.
Over the summer, we'd all get dropped off at Maureen's neighborhood pool and spend hours doing handstand competitions or whatever whacky challenges she had concocted. She was always our idea man (hence skinny dipping in the lake). Marcy was the responsible one, making sure everyone was hydrated and put on sunscreen even though Maureen and I complained that we never burned. I was the most competitive one, willing to hold my breath as long as I could to pick up a penny tossed into the deep end if anyone dared me to.
Outside of swimming, we’ve always helped each other out in big and little ways. When Marcy's dog Beef Jerky died, Maureen and I planned a special service to honor him and printed out a blanket with his face on it for her. Whenever Maureen needed to take her braids out, she'd always call us and we'd dutifully keep her occupied on FaceTime for hours until she, her mom, and her sister had finally managed to remove them all. When I injured my ankle skateboarding and had to take a break from swimming, not being able to compete killed me a little inside, but I still went to every one of their meets to cheer them on.
At the final one, Marcy brought me a bouquet of yellow roses that her mom had been hiding and thanked me for being their biggest cheerleader. Maureen slipped me a huge Ghirardelli sea salt caramel chocolate bar while whispering, “Flowers are nice, but I told Marcy you can't eat them, so wanted to also get you this, too.” Sitting there with my best friends next to me, even though they smelled like chlorine and were slightly damp, I felt the happiest I had been since realizing I wouldn't be able to swim for the rest of the season.
And then, that night at our annual end of season sleepover, they revealed to me that they had just started dating. They looked so happy and giddy, and I knew how hard it had been for them being closeted for so long. We were all asexual, but I knew it was different since they were homoromantic and I was aro. I smiled and told them how happy I was for them. Even though part of me was secretly sad for me.
Maureen splashes some water on my face. “Earth to Lizzy!”
I snap back into my body, into the warm night air, and into the water beginning to make the skin on my fingers uncomfortably pruny.
“I know we've been annoying and a bit couply lately, but we just wanted to say we appreciate you covering for us and are glad you're our friend,” Marcy says.
I don't do well at accepting compliments, but my chest feels warm. I'm trying to decide if I want to respond genuinely or sarcastically when I feel something slither over my foot. I can faintly see the outline of Marcy and Maureen's heads, so neither of them could possibly be underwater trying to freak me out again. Unless it's a…
“SNAKE!”
We begin swimming as fast as we can, as if this is exactly what we had been practicing most of our lives for. Marcy is screaming. Maureen is screaming. I'm pretty sure I'm screaming, but I can't even tell to be honest.
I frantically search for my clothes in the darkness and begin pulling socks and shoes and underwear and sports bra on as quickly as I can, not even worrying about the fact that I'm outside in the woods half naked. But then, of course, the sports bra gets stuck because trying to put a sports bra on when you're covered in dirty pond water is actually the most disgusting and impossible task ever. I give up and just throw on my t-shirt.
Marcy lights the pathway with her phone, Maureen grabs both of our hands, and then we begin running as fast as we can until we finally reach snakeless pavement. God bless. Street lamps illuminate the asphalt, and our heavy breathing fills the quiet air.
“So, I think we outran that snake,” Maureen finally says.
“Oh, definitely. Pretty sure I ran the fastest though even though my ankle has only recently healed,” I add cockily.
“You? The fastest? I practically had to drag your ass out of there because you couldn't get a bra on.” Marcy giggles.
“Not my fault one of us actually has boobs.”
“No, you didn't—”
“YOU DON'T EVEN WANT YOURS!”
Maureen starts pushing us in the direction of her house as we bicker the whole way back. The three of us laughing and nagging and poking at each other like we always have. And when I curl up on the floor of Maureen's bedroom (after a long, long shower), I don't mind falling asleep to the sound of her and Marcy's whispers as they lay next to each other in the twin bed. The soundtrack of two people I love who love each other.
What could be more beautiful?
(Maybe a grilled cheese sandwich and a nice hot bowl of ramen but that might just be because I'm hungry…)
