Poetry by Lijavi Toledo Loaiza.
You’re asexual. It’s more complicated than that, but it is something that finally feels yours.
“Let's say there's a kind of dessert that's everyone's favorite but yours.“
Not wanting sex or possibly never having it doesn’t make me or anyone else less than or broken.
I want to tell this story because people, especially in Peru, believe that the spectrum of sexuality is only about straights, gays and lesbians, when it really goes beyond that.
You never knew how important it was to see yourself reflected on a TV screen. You've never felt so heard, seen, validated, and loved. You weren't imagining your pain; it's real to others too.
The ‘A’ in LGBTQIA+ stands for aromantic, asexual, and agender. (…) I often joke that, being all three, I am a void, a black hole.
For me, having sex never completes me. On the contrary, it usually makes me feel worthless, even when I’ve had sex consensually.
But… how could I be asexual and a fetishist? Aren’t those two things completely in conflict with one another?
Asexuality is such a valuable way to experience and navigate human connection, and I now know much better than to feel otherwise.
All this and more occurs in the very moment I negotiate with the culture and structure that defines my absence-identity – in sex.
I couldn’t think, speak, or move. I’ve rejected him three times, but three times was not enough for him.
Brian Fink, PhD examines asexual community participation and identifies the reasons why asexuals do or do not participate in communities, both online and offline.